An Animal's World

I mean, holy cow, holy cats, and holy mackerel-- a little bird told me that the human race is filled with congressional hawks and doves who fight like cats and dogs till the cows come home.

Wall Street bulls and bears who make a beeline for the goose that lays the golden egg, cold fish and hotdoggers, early birds and night owls, lone wolves and social butterflies, young lions and old crows, and lame ducks, sitting ducks and dead ducks.

Some eat like birds, but others have a whale of an appetite that compels them to eat like pigs, drink like fish, stuff themselves to the gills, hog the lion's share and wolf down their elephantine portions until they become plump as partridges.

Still others are batty, squirelly, bugeyed, cockeyed cuckoos who are mad as march hares or look like something the cat dragged in; crazy as coots, loons or bedbugs; who come at us like bats out of hell with their monkeyshines and drive us buggy with their horsing around.

But let's talk turkey and horse sense. Don't we go hog wild over the brighteyed and bushy tailed eager beavers who go whole hog to hit the bull's eye? These rare birds are wise as owls and happy as clams. Lucky dogs like these are the cat's meow and the world is their oyster.

For my swan song--straight from the horse's mouth-- I want you to know that it really is a zoo out there, but don't have a cow over it!!!!