Top 12 Things your Dog Would Say

 
12. But it SMELLS like food.

11. The cat did it.

10. What say we all drive down to Dairy Queen?

 9. Explain this 'heat' thing again. 

 8. Mind if I sit there?

 7. You gonna eat ALL of that? 

 6. I don't smell anything. 

 5. Could I see the menu? 

 4. FETCH THIS!

 3. Next time, I pick the bitch! 

 2. This isn't a mess, it's ambiance! 
 
And THE number one thing your dog would say: 

 1. You are going to cut off my WHAT??!!

(thanks to Ruthie Darlene)