Laws of Life

The extended Murphy's law: If a series of events can go wrong, it will, in the worst possible sequence.

Dennison’s law: No matter what goes wrong, there is always someone who knew it would.

Dennison’s second law: If it ain't broke... fix it until it is!

Glatum's law of usefulness: The perceived usefulness of an article is inversely proportional to it's actual usefulness, once bought and paid for.

Churchill's commentary on man: Man will occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of the time, he will pick himself up and continue on.

Cole's law: Thinly shredded cabbage!

Zadra's laws of biomechanics: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

Young's law of inanimate mobility: All inanimate objects can move just enough to get in your way.

MacDonald's law: There are two thing on earth that are universal: Hydrogen and stupidity.

Segal's law: A man with one watch knows what time it is. A man with two watches is never sure.

Etorre's observation: The other line moves faster.

O'Brien's observation: If you change lines, the one you just left will start to move faster than the one you are now in.

Witten's law: Whenever you cut your fingernails, you will find a need for them an hour later.

Drew's law of highway biology: The first bug to hit a clean windshield lands directly in front of your eyes.

Dedera's law: In a three story building served by one elevator, nine times out of ten the elevator car will be on a floor where you are not.

Davis' explanation: Serving coffee on aircraft causes turbulence.

Gluck's first law: Whichever way you turn on first entering an elevator, the buttons will be on the opposite side.