Sometimes we just need to remember the 7 Rules of Life

1. Never give yourself a haircut after three margaritas.

2. You need only two tools:
If it doesn't move and it should, use WD40.
If it moves and shouldn't, use the duct tape.

3. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

4. Never pass up an opportunity to pee.

5. When you make a mistake, make amends immediately.
It's easier to eat crow while it's still warm.

6. If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You have another chance!

7. And finally... Be really good to your family and/or friends.
You never know when you are going to need them to empty your bedpan.